SCENE: My teenage daughter and me in the car.


Lauren: Dad, do you know what the

most commonly used letter in a girl’s

name is?

Me: Hmm, is it a consonant or a vowel?

(Silence .) Please tell me you know what

consonants and vowels are.

Lauren: You’re no fun, Dad. Forget it.

Me: What is a vowel?

Lauren: OK, OK. A vowel is … ahh … eh

… well, oh … uh …

Me: Close enough.

—by Robert Alvarez,